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UNLIMITED UNEARNED CONFIDENCE

by UUNO

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1.
Thumbs up, eyes closed, buddha smile while I Boil to death in the false promise of half-measures, Coffee, ketchup and fries and anti-depressants Not really sure what the problem is But that doesn’t mean that my opinion’s not valid Based on my life experience, right and wrong are just a matter of volume and endurance “Those who try will never try will never try in vain” I’m self-coerced by the daydream of a pep-talk To throw all doubt down the drain Where the drain is my smooth sloping brain and to throw Is to not really do anything at all I wanna run Back to the beach Burn all my clothes Lay down in the water And drift off to sleep Dear friends and family I know i haven’t been around much lately But it would mean the whole world to me If you could chip in just a little for my human pickle challenge gofundme Hey all, i know it didn’t work out But calling my a joyless buglike Algorithm of flesh Even after i promised that i’d pay you all back Is really unfair, i know you’re all better than that I wanna run Back to the beach One cigarette and a sour apple slurpee die at 19 Thank god our parents all figured it out They never seemed to have a doubt anyway I hope that one day I will be worthy Of our one great inheritance In spite of everything insane boundless unearned confidence
2.
Desire squeezed purple And dumb Turned to chitin and Cracked open Now pit-empty and sour Only sea foam inside Broken to find meaning or revulsion a laugh An impulse Or the lack there of A once living tackle box Full of vintage moths Bored, escaping up Toward the fading nervelight
3.
We sleep on the dark side of separate lives each ones shadow puppet life cast by the other's cell phone light Our tomorrows make bright this black night after night after night stretches out I'm pressed up to the glass headlights probe at the falling snow while you sleep in the back it's like the world has been erased there's no happier place to pull over and just stretch our legs like the highway stretches on and on Pennsylvania just seems to never quite end somehow I'm driving to meet again, but you're also in the back seat One day I'm gonna just fuck this all up but until then I'm gonna swear that I won't wake you up somewhere deep inside we know this road trip's bound to end but how about until tomorrow comes we just play pretend
4.
Break down All my faults Into digestible pieces Immediately spill them Into the crack between The glovebox and the seat I tried to stitch your ghost up with this golden thread Stop you from knocking On the post of my bed Long years Like the trail Of empty beers Open burning eyes To see You did the best that you could Just to keep doing the best that you can I fill the cracks in my life With your gold memories Trace the path of our own imperfections Toward the source of their beauty Peace for all the cold dead ends Peace for all the hidden paths grown wrong The way back home is long behind us baby And the weather looks rough We’ve gotta trust There’ll be just peace enough to peace our way back together It’s tough now To get back to you It’s already Been 2 years Don’t know When I’ll be back again Guess that’s just How it’s Gonna go
5.
I'm so checkout out the next picnic's on me though the park's both on fire and under the sea and the story is heartbreaking but it's too slow to unfold for anybody to be moved or to care moved apart, lost track, sunk slowly into the ground pillheaded sleepwalk through dead MMO towns might as well take the moon goon stipend take my chances, hit rock bottom somewhere out in the stars I heard what you said don't know what you meant don't really want to know How long have I been humming this tune at least since we reached orbit over Neptune It's just me and one other NEET we just flip a few switches alternating who sleeps in space my hamster life just makes sense feels right, doesn't hurt me, my family or friends apart from never seeing them again, i'm relieved cause my life's no longer anyone's fault the earth gets bluer and bluer each day maybe eden seems pure cause we've been so long away from what distance does a struggle with clubs in the mud just become any other old Tuesday Jordan's river is as wide as it's deep I've got a home on the other side I can't afford to keep so Michael keep rowing and rowing around and around in neurotic circles
6.
Peace be with the wolf in the the pit of the mental illness geo metro Xanax vigil burning purple over dogshit dreams where any lost passerby can be a pilgrim
7.
A girl alone on Christmas night Just a box of matches For both warmth and light No house to call or family to name Cradling a worm-out shoe like it’s Yorick’s skull A night so cold you can see her refrain "To strike a match, or not to strike?" Darling, go ahead Strike as many matches as you like In whose bed do you sleep? I will find you In whose arms do you weep? They can’t hide you I’m the enemy That’s me Soon you’ll see I’m not a grand ungodly godlike man I’m not the leg he lost Not his revenge paid at any cost Nor am I the contemptible father slain Not his murdering bastard, nor the falsely accused, nor the missing envelope stuffed with ill-gotten gain For God means well and the devil’s in pain And man allots blame between himself and the two While I somehow remain forever unnamed In whose bed do you sleep? Do you even know? In whose arms do you weep After they punished you so? Are they the enemy? And what does that make me? I’m the taking clockwork The black vacuum God The empty bloody space From which the pound of flesh can never be replaced Cruel or kind, it’s just a branching path around the pit of my aftermath The blame always falls on they who make the choice While absent from the news Is any mention of the forces that made them choose In whose bed do you sleep? I sleep with you In whose arms do you weep? Those same arms hold me too If I’m the enemy Then who are you to me?
8.
waist deep in snow in the pit of the earth playing monkeyball with my friends pepperoni jabronis all hail satan's pizza fade into fake gamecube sunsets dorito crumb chums chillin out on the floormat of a dead Buick History® from long fingernails to sore gums they go one-by-one what's up American junkie? What is the cost of a fireworks display for all those we lost on national make-your-bed day parking lot skull sucking minimum wage through a pot-hole-water bong while the ring from a taped-up hand-me-down family-cell-phone's drowned out by the song of a spring that just never quite comes while the winter just rolls on and on and on... what is the cost of a fireworks display for all those we lost on national make your bed day Itinerant laborers haul up the mortars in a dour endless parade from the top of mount stupid the workers all sweep while awaiting the video feed directions from debt-coerced cynical undergrads paid in college credit who just lifted whole cloth some general guidelines from the r/fireworks subreddit what is the cost of a fireworks display for all those we lost on national make-your-bed day I don't wanna die but i also cant wait to be dead the water's now up to my thighs it's tough to make a soaking wet bed
9.
tumbling sideways down some snowy Michigan backstreet CD tape adapter roiling metal even if it isn't pump the brakes and roll the window down snow blasting in is this really the place? I pull the ghost of an old geo-metro in to the unplowed driveway snow-washed, lost beyond the scope of an easy answer kill the lights, to match the vibe of the haunted house your directions led me to any trace of paint's worn off the old man's hand-carved dream 20 years past his 20 year coin was jingling next to car keys cigarettes and coffee, withered hands that offered peace to all those lost, discarded men and beasts alike one more chance given freely again and again til it's not no light inside, not a sound to save your life but falling snow and faint howling on the tree-line, primal, sad deja entendu maybe that's what possesses me to forge a knee-deep path around the back I've come too far before I wonder why i've come at all socks are soaking, shadow's lost beyond the streetlight's glow guess i've come because I thought that I might get one more chance to see you, one more chance to say goodbye one more chance given freely again and again til it's not frozen at the tree-line where the dark meets even darker darker still, the shadow slumped beneath a nearby pine tree I bend down, and scoop you up so wet and cold and weak, the puppy licks my cheek trembling like the fur-ball in my arms we start the hike back I see your face, before you turned and walked away the last time all I had for my dear friend, were disappointed eyes would've been so easy just to give you... one more chance give it freely again and again til you can't

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released October 30, 2020

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UUNO Japan

Ramshackle rock, with psychedelic subtleties and acoustic accoutrements.

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